"Why do you blog?" Emily asks

A lifeline?

A rope to the outside world?

A chance to remember who I have been; reveal who I currently am; develop who I am becoming?

I don't just share things with people - sometimes I can't hold things in, but for the most part, I have to remind myself its important to talk to my roommates at the end of the day. I have to remind myself that friends will pick up the phone and talk to their friends about life.

I don't do these things well.

The whole reason I started a blog was to keep people updated on what I was up to, because I was tired of sending out mass emails. Or getting many emails from people wanting to know how I was doing.

All of that said, what has it become? Like Emily, I blog because it's mine. Is that my selfishness revealed or honorable, that the only claim I require is a bit of cyberspace? I guess this is my half-only-child side showing.

I run a preschool and supervise a staff; I am the PR representative of my preschool to parents, my superiors and the entire town; This is a small town and most everyone has 3* of separation; I live with two roommates; I have my game-face on most of the time - I have to; I am getting an online degree because the school has asked me to... I don't have many things that I do because I want to.

Even blogging took a near hit when my new teacher induction required that I start one. That blog doesn't get nearly the attention The Mountain Brooke does, but I do what is required.

Caffeinated Randomness: Fabulously busy!

I'm not sure where to begin. I've been busy. FABULOUSLY BUSY! It's the good busy. It's the kind of busy when I don't sit down until Friday afternoon -- wait, I might go snowshoeing tonight. Well, the kind of busy when I don't sit down until Saturday -- wait, I'm going skiing. Well, the kind of busy when I don't sit down until Sunday afternoon -- wait, the Superbowl and a 5-7 page graduate paper due Monday. Well, you get the idea (and at least I have to sit still to write the grad paper and watch the Super Bowl).

Sometimes this kind of busy wears me out, but this week, I have loved it. My parents have been in town, so I have been commuting to and from Vail every evening and morning and I LOVE IT. The 30 mile commute is like therapy for me.

How much I love the drive reminds me of a Story People print, I've always liked, which says, "I've always liked the time before dawn because there's no one around to remind me who I'm supposed to be. So it's easier to remember who I am."

In other randomness from this week -- um, I'm frustrated with a few parents. That will probably pass. Not my parents, but some preschool parents.

I have one new teacher in the preschool - and two other teachers out this week. One is on vacation and the other is sick. To say this week has been hectic would not begin to cover how I feel about it.

The students seem to be fairing well, and that's all that is important.

I watched the movie ALWAYS last night with my parents. Has anyone seen it? My mom loves the movie -- I think she loves that the woman is always teasing the man and begging for him to tell her that he loves her, "Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"

I did not really like the movie. It was ... it was... it had its good qualities, and maybe I could have liked it in a different phase of life... but last night, I didn't like it.

It's about a few men who are fire-pilots. The men who fly the planes who drop water/paint/mud/whatever-it-is over forest fires. It was intense at parts and definitely believed in love at first sight. The verdict is still out for me on that one... actually I'm pretty sure the verdict is in... I don't buy it. But this movie believed it.

I hope you all have a great weekend complete with randomness and awesomeness!

Thankful Thursday - no hostess

I've been out of my blog routine due to how BUSY I've been - basically since the calendar flipped to 2010.

The lovely hostess for Thankful Thursday is on a blogging sabbatical, and I haven't been able to find a new hostess as of yet -- nevertheless, I still want to express a few areas of thanks from the past week:

1. Last Friday, I was working at my desk -- and when I work at my desk, not only my desk becomes mountains of paperwork but the floor around my desk becomes organized stacks of paperwork. I spread out everywhere in an effort to keep track of all I'm doing.
   Well, last Friday, a little girl wondered into my office going between the two classrooms at the end of the day to fetch her backpack. When she saw me in the office, she scampered over to give me a huge hug -- she scampered over in dirty snow boots, all over my piles of papers and her arms were around my neck before I realized what was happening.
   It was awesome - papers, smapers - this adorable four-year-old wanted a hug and no piles of 'important' papers were going to stand in her way.
2. My dad and my cat are awesome. Both so loving and so strong-willed. Yesterday, I heard a story from my mom that around lunch time my dad had just washed his hands and he was sitting at the family-room table. My cat, Lexie, decided this was the time she wanted to be pet, and so she started rubbing against his legs. My dad had just washed his hands so he made some verbal acknowledgment of Lexie wanting attention and ended with, "Not now, Lexie. My hands are all clean and I'm ready for lunch."
   Seemingly as a response, Lexie, jumped up on the table, as if to say, "Okay, you won't bend down to pet me, I'll come up to where you're having lunch and then you'll pet me." How innocent, her demand for attention. "I want to be loved in this way - right now... please?"
   Dad is no push-over, so he clapped his hands and instructed her to get off the table...
3. I've been running a few times this week and HOW WONDERFUL! I miss running during the school year - partially because it's too cold, too dark and my time is too packed to be running outside and I really don't like treadmills.
   Well, this week, I've run on the treadmill a few times and I still don't like it, but I do love running and it has been good to clear my head a few evenings.
4. On the way to work yesterday, I spoke a prayer and then realized how true is really was... I prayed,
   
   "Lord, I don't need to understand why this is happening; but I really wish I had the faith to trust You in it."
   
   As soon as those words left my lips - they were regarding how many substitutes I've had in the preschool this week (3/4 teachers have been subs or new) - as soon as I spoke those words, I realized how true these are for my heart in a number of areas of my life. I don't need to know why - I don't really care why - I really don't. I do wish I had faith to face circumstances the way they are.
5. I am thankful my parents have been in town the past two weeks and they have had an AWESOME time in Vail. They skied together 5 days and they had fun and were safe every day! Praise God for safety on the mountain. Last night, as I was falling asleep, I could hear my parents talking to each other in bed. Their conversation went:
   
   Dad: Love you.
   Mom: Love you too.
   Dad: Love you more.
   Mom: No way!
   Dad: DO TOO!
   
   How blessed am I that this is the way my parents say goodnight to each other after 29 years of marriage?!

If you know of another Thankful Thursday hostess, please send me her way. In the meantime, I hope you're finding a thankful heart in all seasons of life.

It's been ONE INCREDIBLE YEAR!

One year ago today, I had my first day as preschool director.

One year ago today, I had my first, first day at an adult job. My first day at my first job after grad school!

One year ago today, the only thought in my head was,

"I only have to do the first day once. I only have to do the first day once.
Good or bad, I only have to do the first day once."

Praise God!

What a year it has been. What a comfort to have a full year in Eagle, and in my current position behind me. I have a point of reference for the rest of the year. I will be able to remember, or at least try to remember, how I did things a year ago.

Wow. It has been a CRAZY, Changing, Tumultuous, Awesome, Intense, FULL, Fun, Lovely Year!

Not Me Monday - Musicals

Last night my parents and I stumbled upon ANNIE GET YOUR GUN on television. We have seen this musical on stage a few times and we love the music. This musical includes such classic songs as "There's No Business Like Show Business," "You Can't Get A Man With a Gun," "The Girl That I Marry," and "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better."

I realized the topic for my "Not Me Monday" while I was watching the movie and listening to the beautiful old songs: I did not grow up believing these examples of love seen in musicals and fairy tales. Not me!

I would never grow up thinking that men and women can fall in love at first sight, like in SEVEN BRIDE'S FOR SEVEN BROTHERS.

I would never believe that a man would want a prim and proper and perfect wife, like Frank Butler sings about in "The Girl That I Marry." I would never believe that a man would be excited for the responsibility of marriage, like he sings about in, "My Defenses Are Down." And I'd certainly never believe that after all the twists and turns of a love story, he would end up loving and marrying the spunky red-head who claims "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better." (In this version of the movie, she was blond... but we all know that Annie Oakley had red hair!)

I would never grow up expecting my life story to be like Cinderella's in Rogers and Hammerstein's CINDERELLA, or Nellie's in SOUTH PACIFIC. I'd never dance around my yard pretending that they were the mountains of Austria pretending to be Maria from THE SOUND OF MUSIC.

In these movies, the women don't jump from man to man to man throughout their twenties trying to find the one they're meant to serve. In these movies, there is one man pursuing one woman - and they have challenges - and they get married. I would never grow up believing that example of love. I would never grow up hoping and dreaming for that kind of life. Not me.


I would never be disappointed when my life is not comparable to a musical from the mid-1900s. Not me.

For more confessions of Not Me Monday, visit here.

Caffeinated Randomness: Rare Form

Oh this week. I have been in rare form this week.

How about some highlights - please embrace the randomness... because that is where my brain is.

Points from the week:

• Crying over a luke-warm shower
• Four nights spent in Vail, two nights spent in Eagle - I'm enjoying the different commutes; 3 miles from my place in Eagle to school; 30 miles from Vail to school... my car actually warms up by the time I get to school when I drive from Vail.
  
• Wednesday night Night Skiing at Keystone - so good to shake off a day!
  
• I was offered an all-expense paid trip to the Super Bowl... which I declined. Long story.
• I was evaluated by my mentor teacher on Thursday morning and I did very well. When she told me I did very well, I started to cry - because so little of what I do every day is teach children... I was evaluated on about 10% of what I do everyday and it just all came out my eyes in the post-evaluation meeting - I am that awesome!
• Spurred by job frustrations and turning down the Super Bowl offer, I was in RARE form last night -- considered a trip to Utah (because things always look better from Utah) but settled for wine, Wendy's and a few movies with a friend
• Tonight, a friend is visiting from Steamboat and we're going snowshoeing up on Vail mountain with the Science Center. I'm really excited - it'll be a nearly full moon and my first time snowshoeing
• Tomorrow and Sunday will be full of skiing and time with my parents
• Then Monday I'll start all over again..

So I totally did that "What are you passionate about?" link from the other randomness girls... but all they asked was my birthday month. Seriously? Is that like the Chinese year you're born, or your astrological sign? I wasn't too sold on my passion being defined by the month January and nothing more.

I wanted to do the "What does your middle name say about you?" because I thought it would be fun... but... ... *Brooke tidbit for the day* ... ... I don't have a middle name. I'm Brooke Sanden until I'm married and then Sanden will be my middle name.

Have a great weekend every body. :)

For more randomness, visit Andrea.

Word-Filled Wednesday: Matthew 12:18-21

Matthew 12:18-21

"Here is my servant whom I have chose,
the one I love, in whom I delight;

I will put my Spirit on Him and
He will proclaim justice to the nations.

He will not quarrel or cry out;
No on will hear His voice in the streets.

A bruised reed He will not break,
and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out,
till He leads justice to victory.

In His name the nations will put their hope."

For more Word-Filled Wednesday, visit here.